Wednesday Hodgepodge

 1. Feb 2nd is Groundhog Day in the US of A. Tell us about one day you wouldn't mind living over again, and why you chose that day. 

The day (night) January 15, 2018,  I held my first grandson.  Here I was holding this tiny being and crying at the same time.  A love like no other. This tiny being whose life is yours but not your responsibility but one who you would move earth for.

 2. Something you know beyond a 'shadow of a doubt'? 

I know beyond a shadow of doubt that no matter what I try to control, God is in control.  I am a slow learner and I have had to learn this lesson over and over.  'Be still and know that I am God' (Psalms 46:10).

3. Give us an example of history repeating itself in some way, in your own life or the lives of your children.

I was 28 when I had my first child and youngest daughter was 28 when she had her first son.

4. Snowed under, snow job, not a snowball's chance, snowbird, on thin ice, snug as a bug in a rug, tip of the iceberg, snowball effect, run hot and cold....choose a wintry idiom and tell us how it best applies to your life right now. 

Snug as a bug in a rug.  My school district has gone back to in person learning (still parents choice) so there is no more snow days (ugh) but we teach from home.  Sitting at my kitchen table, looking out the window at the  beautiful snow, teaching from home, and so happy that I didn't have to go outside this morning (temps 18 this morning and I am sure it feels colder than that with the wind chill) I am as snug as a bug in my home!  Make-up on, hair fixed, nice top on, BUT I have on warm sweat pants!!

5. Your favorite sign of spring? 

Seeing a crocus appearing .

6. Insert your own random thought here.

Even though we have been remote learning, high school sports have continued. (I know, right?) I need to mention, one player gets one ticket to give to a spectator so hardly anyone there to watch and cheer the team on. The team had their Play Against Cancer Game last week.  My late hub was a HUGE supporter of athletics and a few players shared this with me. 

I know hub was smiling from Heaven.

 

On another note, the twins aren't too fond of the snow.

Have a great rest of the week!  Stay Warm and Stay Safe!!!!

Wednesday Hodgepodge

 1. Have you done more binge watching this past year than in 'normal' years? Any plans to break that habit in 2021? Tell us one or two shows you binged last year that you really liked. 

I haven't done much if any at all binge watching.  I am not a television person, which makes it kinda hard to pass the time; however, I am an avid reader. Tuesday nights I watch, This Is Us and Big Sky that's about all the television for me.

2. January 26th is Australia Day. Have you ever visited or lived in Australia? Have you ever tasted Vegemite, and if so what did you think?  Is a trip down under on your bucket list? We answered a question about travel three months ago (the October 21st Hodgepodge), but let's revisit now...where are you when it comes to planning or even imagining travel this year? 

Never been to Australia nor had a desire to go...Italy most definitely want to visit. I had to google Vegemite, according to the description not for my taste buds. Travel hasn't entered my thoughts.  I would be happy traveling 10 miles to hold and squeeze my grandkids!

3. Something that zaps your energy? Something that energizes you? 

Doing absolutely nothing zaps me...I feel so lethargic. Seeing the sunshine and walking energizes me and puts me in a jubilant mood. Since our numbers were rising, my exercise class was cancelled and I felt awful.  Couple of weeks ago, I started back walking...I walk for at least 50 minutes a day.

4. On a scale of 1-10 what are your eating habits like these days? (1=all junk food all the time and 10= juicing every green thing in the frig) Healthiest meal you've eaten in the last week or so? 

Trying to eat healthy...key word trying. Being by myself, it is so easy to just grab a handful of chips, cookies, or whatever else is unhealthy. I have made a conscious effort in the last few days to eat healthier; the other evening I made lasagna and had green beans and I think this is a start for me.

5. What's your most often 'Back in my day....' thing to say? 

Back in my day, children showed respect and did what we were told or else we knew what was coming. Children were healthier because there were few places which one could go and eat and we were always outside playing even in the winter, we would head outside to play or walk to a friend's house. Most importantly,  adults showed respect to each other  and was willing to lend a helping hand to their neighbors without being asked to.

6. Insert your own random thought here. 

Our School Board met on Monday evening.  Our county is returning to a hybrid schedule on February 1st. February 22nd PreK through 3rd grade will return to the brick and mortar building 4 days a week, March 1st 4th -8th grade will return 4 days a week and then March 8th High School will return 4 days a week.  Staggering the reopening due to transportation (working out the kinks..which will be a headache in itself) and other problems, such class size (some classes are larger than others) so finding other places to hold that particular class. Boy Oh Boy!! did the ugly comments begin blaming teachers (like we can do anything about it) and just saying we sit all day and don't want to teach!!  Such idiotic, rude comments. Parents will still have the option to send their child or continue virtual learning at home. I quit reading comments, and began looking through pictures...AND

Grandson, who turned 3 January 15th, graduated to a big boy bed.

and the twins, who will be 1 yr old, March 9th are growing like a weed.

Wednesday Hodgepodge

 1. What's something we'd find you doing most afternoons? 

After school, I have been trying to walk for at least 50 minutes (not the past couple of weeks...too cold and snowy). Some afternoons I might do some laundry but really I don't do much in the afternoons.

2. Who do you take after? In what way(s)? 

People say I take after my dad. My dad passed away shortly after hub and I were married at the age of 47.  I try to do the right thing in life, help others when I can or when I am made aware of another person's needs, and my family comes first. I have my dad's blue eyes.

3. 'After every storm comes a rainbow' or 'the calm before the storm'...which phrase do you relate to more right now? Tell us why? 

I am just going to say....I am waiting on the rainbow.

4.What are your plans for the day after tomorrow? 

I will get up, read my devotions, get ready for school  and head out the door. 

5. Complete this sentence-"After all is said and done_____________________."

God is still on the throne and in control.

6. Insert your own random thought here.

Grandson celebrated his Third birthday last Friday. I had mailed his birthday present; daughter doesn't allow me to be around all the kiddos (virus) even though we live 10 minutes away. Not lying, but this is hard ya'll and living by myself is even harder!!

Had the first dose of the Moderna vaccine on Thursday (January 14 ). Arm was very sore on Friday, but Saturday completely better. 

Stay safe and Enjoy Life!

One Day...

" The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still."  (Exodus 14:14)

I have tried to control so many things here lately. My 2021 word...Release...which mean to me 'let it go' ; is difficult but I am learning.  One way I have decided to Release is by writing my thoughts down and then Releasing them.

I need to explain why I chose this word.  In May of 2020, I was at my cousin's house on a Sunday afternoon. After eating, we were just sitting on the porch, enjoying the sunshine and conversing about the world.  My cousin mentioned an utility trailer hubs had purchased and was just asking what I was going to do with the trailer. My cousin has two boys and going four-wheeling is something they enjoy doing. It was decided I would sell my utility trailer (hub had purchased 3 years ago). 

Calling my hub's cousin, he told me about the utility trailer...purchase price (he was with hub when it was purchased). He also told me to make sure I give him the title. What? I didn't even know there was such a thing as a title to the utility trailer. But I found the title...thankfully. I called my cousin back and told him the price (which was way less than what hub purchased it for) but with family, I couldn't ask that huge amount. In the meantime, hub's cousin called me back and said if my cousin didn't want it, he would purchase it from me. My cousin said he wanted to buy it. I have no use for it because hub only purchased it for older  daughter (who passed away) to use in our town's parade which is held every September.

The following Monday, I went to measure the size of the utility trailer and to set the price. It was gone! Calling my brother-in-law in a frantic cause the trailer was kept inside a garage at daughter's pharmacy that only he, my son-in-law, and I had a key to; I thought it was stolen. My brother-in-law said the trailer was not stolen and began talking in a loud voice to me that I didn't need to sell it because my youngest  daughter and her son-in-law might need it. I called her to see if she and her husband wanted it.  Daughter told me that my step-son had called her the following Friday wanting to use it. Daughter explained to step-son that it wasn't theirs and he needed to call me.  Which he never did!  Daughter said she was not  getting involved that her uncle had been calling her about the utility trailer. I explained to daughter, I was just simply calling to see if her and hub wanted it before selling it. When going to my exercise class on Monday evening, I happen to glance over at brother-in-law's garage, (he had a garage close to step-son's work) there was the trailer. It had been put behind my brother-in-law's garage .I called my brother-in-law back explaining to him that I had sold the trailer and my cousin would be coming after it on Wednesday morning that I had seen it behind his garage.  Brother-in-law was again very loud and annoyed that I was selling it.

Wednesday morning before 8:00, my cousin came with the money, BUT my brother-in-law had put it in his garage!  The garage was locked and I tried calling him, but he wouldn't answer, and then I texted him no response.  I felt like a fool...selling something that was now locked up. 

On Sunday, I was still upset at church. Talking to my other son-in-law about what happened a friend kinda heard the conversation.  I was just in disbelief that my hub's (who passed away in 2018) brother would take something from me. 

My grandson (step-son's son) had been staying with me since March (when schools were closed). Having lost my hub in 2018 and oldest  daughter in 2020, my grandson kept me company and would make me laugh. I have raised grandson (that is another story) since he was one year old.  July 7, 2020 came and grandson did not show up. Grandson did call and explain that he could never come back out to my house because I accused his dad of stealing my utility trailer and I was talking about it all over town. What??  Grandson was crying and I cried all night for many weeks. During this pandemic, I only went to church (when the governor allowed) and that was it.  Doing on-line grocery pick up and walking in our park for exercise were what I did. Why would brother-in-law go and tell his nephew that I was talking about them all over town when I absolutely went no where!!

Suddenly in November, I had an epitome! I knew who told brother-in-law. It was the person who kinda came in on the conversation I was having at church with my deceased daughter's hub. The reason I knew this was all of her pictures she had posted when visiting his farm on Facebook. So I texted her, which she denied and said I need to let it go and apologize to brother-in-law.  She even called my youngest daughter saying she was worried about me. The utility trailer is no concern to me. Step-son would take grandson away from his father (while he was dying with cancer) so, I knew this was the reason.  Brother-in-law's only way to hurt me (which I think I have been hurt enough) was to make sure I didn't see grandson anymore. Yes, it hurts so much. I think about grandson daily and my heart  hurts. To think someone would use a child is unthinkable.  My prayer is that one day I can hug grandson again.

It is time to let it go.  I have held on to the lesson that no matter how you treat some people with love and kindness, they do not treat you the same. I have to accept what I cannot change. leave what isn't for you. I see this moment for what it is and I forgive brother-in-law and step-son.

I release!! 

I know that God is with me, leading me, and I have surrendered to His guidance. I need to only be still.  One day I will hold and hug grandson again!

Wednesday Hodgepodge

 

1. When were you last a guest at an event or in someone's home? Tell us about it. Do you enjoy having guests in your own home? 

This would have been August 2019.  My friends (3 friends) and I planned a trip to Hawaii.  We would arrive in Dallas, Texas and fly to Hawaii together.  EXCEPT my small airport wasn't cooperating!  I was having to fly to Charlotte and then to LAX and then to Hawaii.  Nope, I wasn't having it. I tried 2 different airports and nothing was working out.  My friend, who lives in Atlanta, suggested I fly to Atlanta, spend the night with her and her son would drive us to the airport, and we could meet up with our friend in Dallas.  I had to fly a day earlier and had an extra leg. Donna (my friend) gave me a tour of her neighborhood, went out for a quick dinner, and her son fixed a special treat at midnight that night.  At 4:30 the alarm woke us all up and we were off the airport.

I enjoy having guests in my home.  

2. What has you 'tied up in knots' currently or recently? Are you any good at tying actual knots? 

My country. The riots, protests,the vengeance  acts, and impeachments is literally mind-blowing not to mention we are still in the middle of a pandemic.  Heaven is mourning at how America has turned its face.

I use to be good at tying knots, but with age I have developed some arthritis which makes this difficult.

3. What's something you've been wanting to do and have decided 2021 will be the year you 'take the plunge'? 

This year, I will focus on God first and Tammy (me) next.  It is easy to focus on God, but baby steps to focus on me and my needs and happiness.

4. Something in your home that's old? Something new? Something borrowed? Something blue? 

Old...besides me ha! would be an old clock radio that hubs had before we were married and we were married 37 years and it  still sits on a nightstand.

New...my kitchen dinette set

Borrowed....nothing

Blue...I have a blue wall hanging in my living room

5. Share a favorite quote, a verse of scripture, and/or a bit of wisdom for couples getting married in this challenging and seemingly unpredictable season we're currently/still experiencing. 

I gave this advice to both my daughters.  I do not believe a marriage is 50/50.  There were days I needed more that 50 and vice versa with hub.  Some days it might have been 70/30.  Marriage is partnership but depending on how the day unfolded, hub or I might have needed more or less than 50% . It is a commitment for a life time and you are All IN!  There will be times when you argue or disagree BUT remember the love you have for each other.

A couple of special verses I also gave daughters were 1Peter 4:8 "Above all, maintain constant love for one another, since love covers a multitude of sins." and Ephesians 5:33 " To sum up, each one of you is to love his wife as himself, and the wife is to respect her husband."

6. Insert your own random thought here. 

Thursday at 2:15 I am scheduled for my first dose of the Moderna vaccine.  Praying and thanking God for the knowledge he has given the scientists.

Have a great week and Enjoy Life!

Stoic or Introvert or Steel Magnolia

 

Am I stoic or am I an introvert or a steel magnolia??? 

I do hide my feelings! AND here lately, I have hidden my feelings well because I have been hurt. I have even been told I was a steel magnolia!  

According to Mr. Webster --stoic means a person who can endure pain/hardship without showing their feelings or complaining.(ahem).  I will agree that I do hide my feelings. When my feelings get hurt, I do not let the person know verbally nor do I show that my feelings have been hurt.  Few days ago, a person hurt my feelings.  Not only am I old, but so is my computer which was purchased some 10 years ago.  Hence, it is very slow to start up and run.  This situation required the use of my computer and the younger generation is so use to snapping their finger and BAM it is up and running. Not happening with my dinosaur! and since Gen X  are multi-taskers the situation was down spiraling. A comment was made which hurt my feelings. Maybe it was just me taking the comment wrong. My feelings are easily hurt with the trauma (hub's death and daughter's death a year apart) I have been through. But the comment hurt.  Tears flowed later that evening.  Never asked for this person to lend a hand to begin with...so why the comment?  

Really? Introvert?  Nope not me, even some people say I am because I hide my emotions.  The only emotion I do hide is sadness/hurtful.  When I am angry, I let it out. 

Not agreeing with stoic or introvert!

Therefore, I consider myself a steel magnolia.  I have faced adversity these past two years.  There is nothing more heartbreaking than burying your child after burying your hub the previous year. Learning to push myself each day is a struggle and some days are harder than others. But after a good morning cry, I pull myself together and walk out the door with a smile on my face. I am having to adapt each day to this new life; a life I didn't want to adapt to.

My 2021 word...Release....So I released this comment made (to the walls inside my house with a few phrases and words) as I cried and I refuse to keep my mind parked there. Releasing the hurt is a process but I am getting there. I can't control other people's comments. 

So...

Release and Enjoy Life

Wednesday Hodgepodge

 

1. What advice would you give yourself as we begin this new year? 

My advice to myself is to learn to accept the things I cannot change.  Some people will never change, they will always be rude, disrespectful, and hurtful and think the world revolves around them.  I cannot change them even though I have tried to make amends somehow I wind up getting hurt.  I guess the saying..'A leopard can't change its spots' is true.

2. If you could throw a themed party for yourself what would the theme be? 

The Future

3. Tell us where you were and something about what life was like when you were 20- 21.

I had just met the love of my life that summer, after my second year of college.  We fell in love and when I was 21 was planning my wedding ...June 20th. My life was on the mountaintop and I was not having a care in the world. Looking back, I think I planned my wedding in about 5 months and now (at least with my own daughters) it takes a least a year of planning.  Those were the good ole days....finishing college, starting my career, and being happily married and living in Johnson City, Tennessee.

4. What's on the menu at your house this week? 

Soups  Since Sunday, it has been raining and so dreary.  The temps have gotten much cooler also.

5. What should you do more of this year? Less of? 

I will do more of focusing  on the good things and begin my day by saying, "Today is going to be better than yesterday!"

I will do less of having expectations of people, especially family.  Allow myself a break because you can't continuously be put down by others...just say "No" not allowing that.

6. Insert your own random thought here. 

We are still having to give SOL (Standard of Learning Test) to students.  I can't believe it!  We are still remote learning and the students will come in the building for these test.  If a student does not have a way to school, transportation will be provided.  Thankful the SOL Test are only for 7th grade Civics (only half of the 7th graders because the other half is taking Science 7 which doesn't have a SOL Test) and 8th grade Physical Science and World Geography.  Being on a block schedule helps...but come spring WHAM!  A lot of test then.

Last spring when the governor said no test will be given in March (duh we were closed), I was disappointed because I wanted to see the progress my students had made.  I am just a little shocked that the governor has said to go ahead with the test since this has been a crazy year.