Sunday, January 10, 2021

Stoic or Introvert or Steel Magnolia

 



Am I stoic or am I an introvert or a steel magnolia??? 

I do hide my feelings! AND here lately, I have hidden my feelings well because I have been hurt. I have even been told I was a steel magnolia!  

According to Mr. Webster --stoic means a person who can endure pain/hardship without showing their feelings or complaining.(ahem).  I will agree that I do hide my feelings. When my feelings get hurt, I do not let the person know verbally nor do I show that my feelings have been hurt.  Few days ago, a person hurt my feelings.  Not only am I old, but so is my computer which was purchased some 10 years ago.  Hence, it is very slow to start up and run.  This situation required the use of my computer and the younger generation is so use to snapping their finger and BAM it is up and running. Not happening with my dinosaur! and since Gen X  are multi-taskers the situation was down spiraling. A comment was made which hurt my feelings. Maybe it was just me taking the comment wrong. My feelings are easily hurt with the trauma (hub's death and daughter's death a year apart) I have been through. But the comment hurt.  Tears flowed later that evening.  Never asked for this person to lend a hand to begin with...so why the comment?  

Really? Introvert?  Nope not me, even some people say I am because I hide my emotions.  The only emotion I do hide is sadness/hurtful.  When I am angry, I let it out. 

Not agreeing with stoic or introvert!

Therefore, I consider myself a steel magnolia.  I have faced adversity these past two years.  There is nothing more heartbreaking than burying your child after burying your hub the previous year. Learning to push myself each day is a struggle and some days are harder than others. But after a good morning cry, I pull myself together and walk out the door with a smile on my face. I am having to adapt each day to this new life; a life I didn't want to adapt to.

My 2021 word...Release....So I released this comment made (to the walls inside my house with a few phrases and words) as I cried and I refuse to keep my mind parked there. Releasing the hurt is a process but I am getting there. I can't control other people's comments. 

So...

Release and Enjoy Life

14 comments:

  1. Release is an excellent word and something I struggle with also. Hope you have a blessed day today.

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