Thursday, June 6, 2019
For the past couple of weeks, the temps have been in the high 80s and 90s. I kept telling myself it wasn't even summer yet and wondering how hot August would be. Well, we have dropped to the 70s and the rain has started. It has rained for the past 3 days....not complaining cause I feel sorry for all that have been in the torrential downpours and have lost everything due to the rain. But going from 90s to 70s was a shock to me.
Little man was at the beach all last week and boy did I miss him. According to his mom, he loved the ocean and had a great time. She face timed a few times and I could tell he was enjoying himself. Since he returned, he doesn't want me out of his sight (not that I mind of course). A few people who have seen us around said little man missed me just as much as I missed him.
Last year hub began some landscaping. He always had a project going. He became weak and didn't finish the landscaping. I went to Lowe's last week and the brick he used they didn't have; it was discontinued. The salesman was so nice. He called other stores in my area to see if by chance they would have had any. No such luck. I purchased one brick to see how big of a difference the looks would be...I only need 31 bricks to finish the project. Not that much of a difference so I returned to Lowe's purchased the other 30 bricks. Instead of placing the mismatch brick next to each other, I kinda made a pattern...if I must say it looked nice. Next was finishing the red rock... I went to our local store and purchased 4 tons of red rock....I know a lot right? Monday I finished almost 2 tons!! Shew!!! Yep, I felt it the next day. A fellow stopped by and said I was working in the hot afternoon and I needed to do this kind of work in the early morning. Ha! He is telling me!! I can't do this in the morning because I go to the pharmacy and try to do some paper work...I am there before 7, then I return home to babysit little man at 8 and it is hard to do landscaping with a 16 month old so I have to do this work when little man goes home. It might take me all summer to finish but I will finish this project.
I have 5 groundhogs in the building where I store the lawn mower. I called animal control about the problem who said they couldn't help me but gave me another number to call. I called that number and told the man on the phone about the groundhogs...A Virginia Game Commissioner, I think. He told me to shoot them...Ha! I can't see myself doing this. If anyone knows how to get rid of them please let me know.
Just a few things going on in my corner of the world.
Take care and Enjoy Life....
Sunday, June 2, 2019
Courage has many forms but for me Courage is to ....
Share your fears
Stop talking and listen
Go out in public by yourself
Ask for help
Book a flight
Life sure didn't turn out as I visioned. I never would have dreamed I would be a widow at this age. Hub was a non-smoker, an athlete, a business man, and a social butterfly. How did cancer take over his body is something I ask myself daily. These past six months have brought on new challenges for me...ones I never thought of.
Ironically, my 'word' for 2019 was Courage....
Share your fears.... I was asked if I was afraid...afraid of what? was my response. It took months before I opened up about some fears I have. Fear of every noise I heard, fear if I was putting the filter in correctly, fear if I was mowing the lawn the way hub wanted it mowed, fear of running the pharmacy the way hub wanted it, fear of the unknown...and the list could go on and on. Sharing some of my fears have helped. Did it take Courage? You bet it did!
Stop talking and listen... I am the one who can finish your sentence or insert a word while you are talking. I could also finish your story...this was me. I have started to really look a person in the eye and really, really pay attention to what he/she is saying...then I talk. Have I completed mastered this? No Way! but having the Courage to at least try is a step in the right direction.
Forgive someone...A person has deeply hurt my late hub and my family. It is very hard facing this person and I do try to avoid contact. At night when I do my Bible reading and journal I ask God to help me forgive and I even write that I forgive this person. Courage.... yes, to me it is Courage.
Go out in public by yourself....I am not talking grocery shopping or a trip to Wal-Mart but.... I have been to two funerals...and if it weren't close friends there is no way I could have taken those steps inside. One was a friend who had lost her hub to cancer and the other was a friend whose son was killed on duty. Courage to walk inside...Yes
Yesterday, I attended a wedding of hub's close friend whose son was getting married. On the memories came. Courage
People never said here is Charlie or here is Tammy. It was always here is Charlie and Tammy...we were one. And to go SOLO takes Courage.
Ask for help....Hub just to say I was too stubborn and I need to ask for help. I have always been the type to do things on my own. I have had to tuck in my wings on more than one occasion and call someone to ask for help. The first time I did this, I was so nervous, but the generosity the person showed me eased my nervousness. I thought I had locked the keys to the vehicle inside the vehicle..turns out I started the vehicle inside my house and had the keys in my purse! Courage to make that first call.
Book a flight....Actually, the flight was booked by my friends because I was backing out of the trip (they know me too well). So a little trip is planned in the future. Courage I guess...or craziness.
Many probably think these are definitely not examples of courage....I didn't jump into a burning building to save someone, I didn't dart in front of traffic to rescue a person, etc. My Courage is facing tough challenges when I lost my spouse of 37 years to cancer....after watching and caring for him for a year.
June is going to be rough for me....it is our anniversary month June 20th to be exact...and then July is our birthdays. I lean on this verse: Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid, the Lord your God is the One who goes with you. (Deuteronomy 31:6).
Six months have passed since I lost my dear husband and I have had Courage to do what I never imagined.
Have a Blessed Week and don't forget to....
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