Sunday, January 20, 2019

Some courage...




As I look out my window, the sun is shining and it is beautiful outside...But when you step outside the cold cuts right through you...a balmy 24degrees and when you factor in the wind chill it feels like 8 degrees!!  So don't let the sun fool you!  It is supposed to get even colder tonight.  A couple of snow flurries this morning, which I welcomed.  For the past month, it has rained so much.  My ground is a soaky, muddy mess.  It is January, so it is supposed to snow, right?  Snow is so much prettier than the dreary rain...unless it is a summer rain of course.

I went to Zumba for the second time.  Zumba is an outlet for me...I get to punch and kick Cancer as hard as I can.  During our break, which we seldom take..only to take a drink of water, someone started telling a ghost story...the person telling the story said it was true.  Oh my!! was my thought.  When I got home, there was a light on that I didn't remember leaving on when I left.  Quickly I called #1 daughter and told her...her response..."Mom, get out now!"  I responded, "Amanda, I am already in the house..just keep talking to me while I look around (in the closets, under the bed...you know the routine).  We hung up the phone. But then I called her back. "Amanda, I forgot to look downstairs, keep talking to me while I look."  Nothing downstairs...Whew!  Amanda convinced me that maybe I had left in a hurry, which I usually do, and I was a little upset (No,  I was MAD) because I had seen a situation that wasn't right, and I had just forgot to turn off the light. Anyway, the next time someone tells a ghost story at Zumba...I am going to not listen...Lesson learned for me.

My word for 2019 is courage...and with the death of my sweet hub...this seemed fitting.This week, I had the courage to attend a high school basketball game.  Hub loved sports, and he and I would attend every sporting event we could possibly squeeze in.  A few weeks ago, I was asked when I was going to come to a basketball game.  Now, I do miss going to the games, but I just couldn't see myself going without hub tagging along. Oh there were nights, I would pull into the parking lot, sit in my vehicle, and cry but just couldn't walk into the high school gym to watch a basketball game.  This past Friday, I did!!  I pulled into the parking lot, jumped right out  of my vehicle, and walked into the gym.  Greeted by hugs from many people made me feel somewhat okay.  Yes, a few tears were shed and some happy memories were shared.  But I did it!!  I know things will never be the same, but I was so glad I went to the basketball game. AND I did have fun!

A few friends (retired teachers) and I had lunch yesterday for the first time.  I have been asked to have lunch with them for a few weeks, but just didn't feel like going.  Yesterday, I went!  Our conversation centered around teacher stuff...even though we are retired.  Once a teacher, always a teacher as the saying goes.  One thing I really enjoyed about our lunch date is that no one was afraid to mention hub's name...This made me smile because I know when a person sees me in public, I feel their awkwardness...do they mention Charlie's name or not I can tell what they are thinking. But for me, I like it when people mention Charlie's name, this helps me.

I am still reading
This book is really hitting home.  How many times did I ask.."Where are you God?"  What I thought my life would be like, is not at all like I pictured.  I don't have to understand, I only have to trust.  God will make things okay...in his way and timing.  We live in a broken world but if I want God's promise, I must trust the process.  I am taking baby steps, but I am taking those steps.

So...Take Care AND Enjoy Life

1 comment:

  1. I'm so glad you went to the game and the lunch. So many hard things, but you're doing it. So glad you have your faith to help you through.

    ReplyDelete

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