Courage

My word for 2019 is

COURAGE...

Thanks to a friend, sorority sister, and blogger for the quiz on her blog...I found my word for 2019.

Last year, 2018, was a tough year, to say the least.  Hub was fighting the nasty, beast...CANCER.  Many road trips to Duke, some overnight stays, tests, laughter, and tears...many, many tears.  Hub, Charlie, demonstrated great courage figting this disease. Hub passed away November 21, 2018 while I was holding his hand.

Courage to do something that frightens me.  I face each day without my beloved Charlie.  We had a one of a kind love story...a love story that ended way too soon.  I miss him terribly every day.  Some days are not so bad, but then there are days that I just can't get it together...I yell at Charlie for leaving me, I cry, then I apologize to Charlie and cry some more.  Sometimes I feel like this is a dream and I want to be woke up from this nightmare!!  I guess this is normal...

Charlie was on the Town Council and was just re-elected this past May.  He and I had discussed whether he should run again or not.  He was feeling good and the chemo appeared to be working so we both agreed he should run.  When he passed, the council appointed me to take his seat until the special election can be held.  Last Friday, I signed up to run for his seat.  We both discussed what we wanted for the town and the accomplishments he wanted to achieve. I want to honor my husband, by trying to fulfill his obligation and the vision he had for this town.  The election will be held on March 5th...so I took a leap of faith to sign up to run.  Wish me luck!!!

All last year, I held on to this verse...Joshua 1:9.."Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest." I would say this verse over and over in my head the night before our trips to Duke, in the car traveling, in the lab waiting area, in the cancer center waiting area, in the oncologist waiting area, and heck yeah...even in the hospital bathroom.  Sometimes it was the shorten version...Be Strong and Courageous God will be with you wherever you go.  

Courage, according to the dictionary definition means to face difficulty, pain, etc. without fear.  Whoa!  That is not me...I am fearful!  Maybe courage is being fearful but able to continue and keep your focus at the same time. I like that better!!  

Have you chosen your word for 2019?  

In the meantime...Enjoy Life