My word for 2018

I have chosen a word for 2018....and I have never chosen a word for a year before...but for some odd reason I have told hub just now that I wanted to chose a word for the 2018 year...

My word for 2018 is

BELIEVE

I am going to BELIEVE that things, circumstances, etc. happen for a better reason.

I am going to BELIEVE....release fear and have more faith.

I am going to BELIEVE in the good....and not focus on the negatives.

I am going to BELIEVE it will happen at the right time...God's timing...not mine.

I am going to BELIEVE good things are going to happen.

I BELIEVE God wants us to be happy and Enjoy Life!

Christmas Blessings

I know it is the day after Christmas....

and 

blessings need to be told

and

youngest daughter's birthday is today

and

I haven't written a post in ages

and

I am going to be a grandmother

and

oldest daughter got engaged

and

people are probably tired of reading about Christmas

Let me start by saying, I have really missed blogging and reading all the blogs but my journey this year has been a rough one.

February of 2017, Hub was diagnosed with cancer for the second time.  He had been cancer free for SEVEN years and the darn thing came back.  So many trips to doctor's office and test were a big part of my 2017 beginning. 

March 15th of 2017, my oldest daughter was told she needed to have a third open-heart surgery. Her first two open heart surgeries were when she was 11 months old and 16 months old.

From March to May my time was spent at Duke University with husband.  He was having surgery because the tumor on the outside of his stomach was blocking his bowel and more tumors were found in the liver.

Summer was many ups and downs....worries even though hub was home...worry and fear were a constant and that darn cancer (saying it mildly) was hanging over us....and daughter was going for test to get ready for her open heart surgery. Summer was a blur...but a few days I did remember...

Celebrating Father's Day

Attending Relay for Life....the words above HOPE were all spelled using bags with hub's name on them :(

Attending games that were supported by hub's fans.

I did take a painting class!

Oldest daughter's open heart surgery was in October at University of Virginia. Two days after hub's chemo treatment at Duke University.

Daughter had two valves replaced the mitral valve which is mechanical and pulmonary valve which is tissue.  

Between all of this.....March-October. youngest daughter told us her and hub were expecting a baby! 

This little guy is due January 8th!!

Oldest daughter's boyfriend came a couple of weeks ago asking our blessings....he was going to ask daughter to marry him.

Of course we were thrilled.

Youngest daughter's birthday is today.....this sweet thing will be a Mommy soon!

Oldest daughter's birthday will be December 30th.

My daughters went from this....

To these beautiful women...who I am so proud to be called their mother.

My family did have a blessed Christmas.  2017 is a year I will certainly remember!!!!

Hub and I will travel to Duke Tuesday for another round of chemo....we go every two weeks for his chemo treatment.  Please keep him in your prayers.  

Enjoy the rest of the holiday celebrations!!

Enjoy Life

P.S. I did get a tattoo.....one for hub.

Exciting News

I have some EXCITING NEWS!

Charlie and I are going to be grandparents!  Our youngest daughter and her husband are expecting in January.  January 8th is the DATE!

I have known for a few weeks. So today,after I went with her to her doctor appointment, she gave me the okay to share. She has the final say, now.

Sitting in the doctor's office, my mind began going back in time.  So many memories came back.  It doesn't seem that long ago even if it has been 27 years that I was sitting waiting on the doctor to check me.  Listening to the talk of all the expecting mothers, made me giggle....especially the first time mothers.

Other good news....Hub went for his chemo treatment at Duke....desensitizing his body to give him the chemo he was allergic to 7 yrs ago.  Hub so far has done great....no allergic reaction!  Praise God!  He is in control.

Life has thrown us a few curve balls this year...but we are still in the ballpark.

Cancer Sucks

It has been a long time since I last blogged.  Sering a loved one with Cancer truly sucks!

I will back up a bit. Hub had his first round of chemo March 21-23.  In hospital March 30-April2.  Began feeling better. Had an appointment at Duke Cancer Center April 19th to discuss a chemo treatment that his body could tolerate this second time with this nasty disease. It was agreed on to keep the same chemo treatment but reduce the amount by 50%.

Second treatment was scheduled for April 25-27th. He was taking his treatment that Tuesday, April 25th and began to get extremely nauseous then the sickness started. Chemo was shut off and an hour of saline was given but still extremely sick. We were sent to the ER and by this time, hub was in tremendous pain.  Tests were run and that DAM (pardon my French) Cancer Tumor was blocking his bowel. I was told to go home pack my bags because Charlie was heading to Duke.

Both daughters were just as upset as me and thankfully friends drove me home and helped me pack. Charlie was taken by ambulance while my van was driven by my minister (who is also one of hub's best friends), my aunt and her daughter, and my youngest daughter headed down the road. We arrived at Duke around 2am that morning only fourteen minutes behind the ambulance.

Preliminary schedule was to do surgery on Thursday......BUT Duke medical teams had other plans. A group of teams GI Teams and the surgery team had other plans. More tests a lot more tests were done and all teams were meeting on him. The plan that the teams came up with was a by pass bowel surgery--make a loop and by pass the tumor. Surgery was scheduled for Monday, May 1st.

Daughters came up for the weekend and care packages were sent to us. We received a care package from my previous school I had taught at with some encouraging notes and Bible verses. Hub and I read each note with tears in our eyes. There are no words to express our gratitude.

Monday came and we waited. Surgery was to be at 11 that morning. Around 11 hub still in room; I looked up and there came 4 people from our church coming down the hall. Again the tears came. At 11:30 hub was taken down. Surgery was to be 2 hrs.  The surgery lasted over 5 hrs. When the surgeon talked to me, I could tell he was exhausted. Hub was doing fine. He was taken to the surgery floor later that Monday night.

Tuesday morning I could tell hub wasn't feeling the best. His vital signs didn't look good and before I could say a word a ream of surgeons, doctors, and nurses were in the room.  Youngest daughter was with me and she and I just cried no words spoken only tears. Hub was taken time to SICU. My heart was breaking and there wasn't a thing I could do.....physically anyway......  Hub was in SICU Tuesday -Saturday. He has had many tests run on him and his arms look like a pin cushion. My heart hurts. Cancer really does suck!. He hasn't eaten or drunk anything since April 25th and the NG tube is driving him crazy. He was transferred to the surgery floor Saturday evening.

Today, Sunday, surgeons came by.  I have so many questions and they have some answers not all but some.  Hub's stomach has to wake up and his gastric juices have to be trained to go another route before going out the bowel. BUTdoctors say a change of scenery might help so we were able to go outside!!! Hub smiled as he sat in the sunshine watching nature. We stayed an hour because that is all the time he was allowed. We are back in room and hub is resting. There are so many thing we--No I take for granted and hub was taken them all in.....the birds, the feel of sunshine on your face, the cool breeze, hearing children laugh .....yes I have stayed with him around the clock BUT  I have walked out of the hospital to take a shower at hotel and return. Me, I have taken things for granted that brought a smile to my hub's face.....a smile I haven't seen in a long time....a smile that I have missed because of YOU CANCER!

Cancer does take a toll on a person BUT ...Isaiah 53:5 "By his stripes we are healed". When the doctors mention my hub's outlook and time frame, I cling to this verse.

Rough one

I am sitting here watching hub sleep and listening to his beautiful  sounds he makes while sleeping. I never thought I would think snoring was a beautiful sound BUT at this moment it is.

Hub had his first round of chemo a little over a week ago(March 21st to be exact). The following g Thursday we went to remove his chemo pump (after taking 3 different kinds of chemo he comes home with a mobile pump-pumping chemo into his body for 46 hrs) and he became like a dishrag. A wheel chair was needed to roll him to the infusion room, his blood pressure dropped, and he began to sweat a lot! Immediately taken to the ER to begin tests and given fluids. The tests came back showing no concerns and hub began feeling better.

Monday was his doctor's appointment with his oncologist. The oncologist was concerned with his weight loss but blood work looking good. Hub promised to eat better (yeah, right) and drink better. On Tuesday he felt awful, so I called his oncologist ( hub has his cell phone number which is unheard of one days) and we began taking fluids and getting shots to increase his white blood count. Thursday he was admitted to the hospital for dehydration and low white blood count which was 0.6.

So on this Friday, I sit watching him. He is so peaceful sleeping. I miss the fun-loving, jokester person. Cancer has taken this away BUT only for a moment because this will pass and hub will be back to his normal self.

Sometimes life just sucks but tomorrow will be a better day! 

First Round

First Round

Hub's first round of chemo was Tuesday-Thursday.  On Tuesday he went for 6 hours of chemo and then he is hooked up to a mobile chemo pump that goes for 46 hrs. straight. Ya'll that is some harsh chemo.
I stayed with him on Tuesday, well I did sneak upstairs to a shoe sale going on.  Daughter #1 stands from 8-7 five days a week and then on Saturday.  Even though there is a mat, she still says her feet her.  The shoes were for nurses to wear and the nurses said daughter would really love a pair.  The nurses also assured me hub would be okay.  One nurse even walked with me to the shoe sale.  I bought daughter two pairs...a hit too for she fell in love with both styles I chose for her.
Hub was all smiles when I showed him the purchase....BUT not the price ha!

Hub finished the treatment, was hooked up to the pump, instructions were given (hygiene care, clothes washing, and he had to drink 3 quarts of liquid daily),and we headed home. Tuesday evening and night was pretty good.  His appetite was still pretty good.  He slept good....he slept in the recliner and I slept on the couch.

Wednesday, hub and I took a walk in the gym at our church.  He wanted to keep his stamina up.  A decrease of appetite this day and not drinking very much. Wednesday night still doing fair.

Thursday---was a different story.  I had remembered being told that the third day was the worst...but nothing could compare me for what happened.  Hub woke up nauseous, and he tried to eat a little. I told him to hold on that it was only a few more hours and the chemo pump would come off.  We left the house around 11:30 and by the time I got to the Cancer Center hub was too weak to walk and he was very, very nauseous.  I got hub inside and the nurses put him in a wheel chair.  As they began rolling him back to the room, hub broke out in a cold sweat and his blood pressure dropped.  The doctor was called and hub was taken to the ER. I didn't like the ER with all the flu still raging here...but hub was given a mask and a room shortly. Test were run and fluids were given.  Me, I was a nervous wreck-scared too death and trying to hold back the tears. I did cry while hub was given tests. Results....either he had a reaction to the chemo or the chemo inflamed the mass. Ya'll that is some harsh chemo! Hub started coming back to normal...whatever that is after receiving chemo and left for home.

He has been very weak. On Saturday he started eating and drinking a little....small steps.  Today, Sunday, he wanted to go to church and I said only if he wore his mask...which he did.  He says he has felt better today and has ate better.

This first round was a tough one....some harsh chemo ya'll.  Was I scared?   Scared couldn't even touch how I was feeling.  Joshua 1:9   I knew God was with me.

We see hub's oncologist tomorrow. But right now round one is over!  Prayers for easier rounds as we fight this battle of cancer. #noonefightsalone

Have a Blessed Week and Enjoy Life!

Two related Words....Cancer or Cancel

Two words related.....




After life has thrown us a curve ball, I have been mad!  I mean really, really mad.  Hub's test results show that his cancer has returned....it is between the lining of the stomach and the small intestine and in the liver.

Let me back up till 2010
Hub went for a colonscopy in January 2010....no problems just time for his colonoscopy.  During the colonoscopy, he was woke up saying he had a tumor and it was cancer.  Surgery was next to remove the tumor; weeks later a port was put in, and a couple of days later he began his chemo treatments.  He was scheduled for 12 treatments, but hub became allergic to the chemo on the 10 1/2 treatments. He has never missed an appointment and in 2015 was put on a yearly check-up.  His last check-up was in October 2016---blood work great and he was having no problems.

Then it happened......
Hub started having some pain in his lower abdomen the later part of December 2016....but after a few days it went away.  In February, 2017 the pain came back.  He went to the doctor after much fussing from me and his daughters.  A CT Scan was done on February 22.  Later that night his oncoligist called and said the scan showed spots in his liver.  WOW!  Hub was having his three year colonoscopy on February 27 so a PET Scan was also to be done that same day.  His colonoscopy was clear!!!  Not the PET Scan....a huge mass had shown up.  March 3rd he was seen by a gastroenterologist.  March 8th he had an endoscoptic ultrasound...this showed cancer.

I am furious....I HATE CANCER

I am trying to stay positive and happy around hub, but I want to fight cancer and punch it so hard.  I have had a shouting and crying match with God, then I had a shouting and crying match with the Devil.

During these matches, especially with the Devil, I thought to myself how the words Cancer and Cancel were related. Cancer is trying to Cancel our life....the fun times we have planned....Cancer is trying to Cancel our trips, Cancer is trying to Cancel our walks, Cancer is trying to Cancel our cookouts, Cancer is trying to Cancel our joy.....

I have news for you, CANCER I Will Not let you CANCEL ......
My gloves are coming off!!

Bumps in the road

Bumps in the road.....
John16:33



I have posted in a few weeks because of trying to wrap my head/thoughts around the bumps in the road.

My hub has had some health issues and I have done a lot of crying and praying.

Hub was diagnosed in 2010 with colon cancer.  Up until the last few weeks everything has been great.  Hub started having some lower abdominal pain and had a CT scan.  The scan showed spots in his liver and his oncologist called and said he was concerned.  Tears came and sleeplessness and the question 'Why'?

Monday hub had a colonoscopy (his 3yr.out colonoscopy) and a PET Scan later that afternoon.  The colonoscopy was clear!!  His blood work looked good, also.  I kept saying 2 down 1 to go.  Hub was getting weak....he hadn't eaten since Saturday night around 7:30 and it was now 2:00pm on a Monday.

Tuesday his oncologist called....the PET Scan showed a mass....either this mass is in his stomach, on top of his stomach, in between stomach and intestine--not clear on the location and the scan showed 2 spots in his liver.  The mass is the one the oncologist is concerned about.  The conversation went something like this.....What happened?  What did we not do?  Where did this come from?  Is it cancer? I can't really tell until the biopsy.....  On Friday, we went to see a specialist.....same concerns....still no definite answers.  SO....WEDNESDAY morning hub and I will be at the hospital at 6am.  Hub will be having an endoscoptic ultrasound.....the dr. is hoping he can locate the mass, get to the mass, and do a biopsy.

Hub and I have tried to go on BUT it is hard to do this.  I have my moments when I just break down and cry.  Hub said that he had a long talk with God on Saturday night when he couldn't sleep.  I know God says in this world we will have tribulation but be of good cheer for he has overcome the world.  I have prayed this cup may pass by.

I have clinged to Romans 12:12.



Have a great week, Enjoy Life, and whisper a prayer for my hub.

Wednesday Hodgepodge

1. 'Slow and steady wins the race'...tell us about a time this was true in your own life.

In today's time we or mostly all want it to happen instantaneously....right now. Being patient is becoming a lost art.  I trying to think of a time this was true in my life and I realize this should be true everyday.  Slow, steady, and being persistent in what one wants.

2. 'As slow as molasses'...Do you like molasses? How about maple syrup? Caramel? Butterscotch? What's your favorite of the slow moving treats mentioned here, and what's your favorite food made with that sweet treat? 

My favorite would be caramel.  My sweet treat is Mamaw's Pie

3. Your favorite slow song?

Unchained Melody

4. Your favorite thing to make in a slow cooker or crock pot?

Baked Potatoes!

5. 'You may delay, but time will not.' ~Benjamin Franklin Are you more a hurrier or a delayer when it comes to unpleasant tasks that need doing? What are you currently either delaying or hurrying to get through this week or month?

I am more of a hurrier, I want to get it over with.  Right now, I am just wanting this crazy week to be over.

6. Tell us three things you encounter regularly or even just occasionally that you find to be annoyingly slow.

Fast foods drive thur service, waiting on results from a test, and DMV.

7. March is National Craft Month. Are you crafty? Tell us about something crafty you'll try in the next thirty one days. Or something crafty you'd like to try or wish you had the skill to make happen.

Nope, not one bit crafty and not really interested in this skill.  I have been invited to a paint party so who knows....

8. Insert your own random thought here

Hub's test results were not good from the CT scan last week.  Had a colonoscopy on Monday and a PET Scan later that evening.  The colonoscopy was clear, HOWEVER the PET Scan showed three hot spots.  Two spots in the liver and a huge mass between the stomach and small intestine.  We are headed today to make an appointment with a  gastroenterologist of oncology. Prayers please.

  

Wednesday Hodgepodge

1. Have you ever been fishing? Did you catch a fish? If so did you keep it or throw it back? If you haven't been fishing is that something you'd like to try?

Yes, when I was in my early years, I went fishing with my cousins.  I think I caught a fish, but honestly can't remember.  I do remember being on a boat and thinking how awful the stuff fish ate smelled.
I did take my daughters fishing when they were younger.  They both caught fish and I do remember the squeal in their voices as they were reeling the fish in.

Fish out of water, big fish in a small pond, living in a fishbowl, packed in like sardines, this is a fine kettle of fish, plenty of fish in the sea, fish or cut bait...which fishy phrase most recently applies to some area of your life?

None of the above.....I even asked hub and he had the same answer.

2. What's something you're always fishing for in your purse, wallet, desk, or kitchen junk drawer?

In my purse, it is always my reading glasses and hand sanitizer.  

3. Your favorite fish tale or movie?

A Fish Tale



4. Are you sunrise, daylight, twilight or night? Explain why you chose your answer.



Sunrise.....I am awake and ready to begin my day.  I enjoy the day before the day begins.

5. What's the oldest piece of clothing you own and still wear?

A shirt and skirt set that is at least 10 yrs. old....It is stretchy and that is why it still fits.  


6. We've got one more month of (officially) winter here in the Northern hemisphere. Are you feeling the need for a getaway? What's been the best and worst part of your winter so far?

Winter has stayed at bay.  I think we have  only had a couple of days that the temps were cold maybe in the 30s and only one snow.  Most days our temps have been in the 50s -70s  a very unusual winter.  Best part is I have not had to do any shoveling....

Worst part is I have missed the snow and the cooler temps...it just hasn't felt like winter when wearing flip flops outside in February. 

7.  The Wednesday Hodgepodge lands on National Margarita Day...will you be celebrating? Frozen or on the rocks? Are you a Jimmy Buffet fan? If so, what's your favorite JB tune?

No, not celebrating.  

Frozen margarita with fresh strawberries...hold the salt please.

Favorite tunes..


and


8.  Insert your own random thought here.

Hub ...has been experiencing some pain in his lower abdomen.  He is having a scan tomorrow...Prayers for nothing serious...but once diagnosed with cancer any pain is a concern.
Also hub has his three year colonoscopy on Monday...prayers for a good report.
Have a Blessed Week.