November Happenings

November is almost over, and I haven't blogged in a long time.  Why?  It isn't like I don't have the time, I do have time. 

I helped grandson (this was my hub's son's child...no blood relations at all but from birth till he was around 6 he practically stayed with hub and I a lot (no regrets at all!!) but things changed and his father didn't allow hub and I to see him due to his lifestyle)  so he is no blood relation BUT to me he is and will always be my grandson, Nate.  Nate was able to spend eth Saturday and the night with me.  I told his father about the paper and explained there was no way we could get it finished unless he was allowed to spend the night.  This was the first time he had spent the night in over TWO Years!!  Yep, TWO Years.  Anyway, Nate did the research, wrote the essay on paper, then transferred this to the computer.  I helped with the bibliography.  So the day and most of the night was spent working on the paper.  I enjoyed the time with him.  A few weeks ago, he was so excited because his paper was chosen to go on to the county.   He placed in the school division and now on to the county division.

I gave him a huge hug and told him I was so proud of him.  Was working on the paper difficult?  You better believe it was.  Like I said this was the first time in two years he was able to spend the night and we had to do school work instead of having fun.  Maybe one day, his dad will allow him to spend the night with me.  It will help me tremendously....I get so lonely and the nights are so long.
I miss him and our snuggles.

Snow???  About two weeks ago, we had our first little snowfall.  It was very little accumulation which I am glad.  I use to love the snow but not so much now.

I hope this isn't just a taste of what is to come.

November is a tough month for me.  My dear husband, Charlie, passed away last year the day before Thanksgiving.  Turning the calendar to November, I began counting the days to that one year anniversary mark, which was this past Thursday...11-21-19.  That night prior to Thursday, I went to teach my Wednesday Kid's Church, but when I got home the tears flowed.  I sat down and just couldn't quit crying.  I tried to scan the television to something comedy to watch but still just cried and cried.  It was around 5 that morning that I finally took a shower to get ready for school that I quit crying.  I was so thankful that I was teaching middle schoolers that day.  I made it through the day with a few hugs from my teacher colleagues.

Later that evening, youngest daughter, called.  She is expecting identical twin boys in April.  She and her husband along with their son, Blake, who will be two in January wanted to come down.  They had been to her doctor appointment, and they wanted to eat dinner with me.  Since she is having twins, the twins are in the same placenta but in different sacs, she sees a specialist every other week.
Before dinner, she explained to me that both boys are doing great...they are growing and are the same size and she will return in two weeks.  After dinner, she showed me the pic of the ultrasound and told me they had decided on names.  Twin A 's name is Aiden Charles (after my dear Charlie) and Twin B's name is Liam Grant (Liam comes from William and William was my father's name who passed away shortly after I got married with cancer).  The tears flowed again well, more like heavy, heavy tears.  I love the names.  She said she had thought about her dad all day and I told her I had to.  She was sad that he won't be here to see them,  But I told her that Charlie hand picked them in Heaven and sent them to her and Kenneth. And just like I tell Blake about his Buddy (Charlie was called Buddy not Papaw) I will make sure these two boys will know what a special person their Buddy was.

Courage....my word for 2019...seemed fitting.  I am not looking forward to the holidays.  I think last year I was still numb and in shock but this year is different.  At Thanksgiving, hub and I would prepare a dish, take it to the church, and then help deliver over 500 meals to families who had little.  After delivering the meals, we came home and would set up and decorate our Christmas Tree.  This year, I will prepare a dish but not help deliver meals.  I just don't want to without hub.
As for as decorating for Christmas, I don't want to.  It just doesn't feel good to decorate without hub.  Hoping this feeling changes...but right now I am hurting.

I see pictures and read post of many people getting in the Christmas spirit and I am like ...No, not me and then I cry.  I know hub is no longer suffering (colon cancer) but gosh I miss him terribly.  Like I said, I think last year I was numb but his year it is like for REAL!

I went this afternoon to see this little guy, Blake.  He had just gotten up from his nap.

Yes, Christmas PJ's.  I smiled and gave him a big, huge hug.
Courage....for this season...this beautiful season to celebrate Our Lord and Savior. I will hug this fellow a little tighter and remember the good times.

Until Next Time....Take Care and Enjoy Life

Tammy